Ad in the classifieds...

This was a ridiculous fiction I thought of when I saw an ad in the paper for a silverware technician.

Once upon a not so very long time ago there was a fork and spoon originally named Spork and Foon. Spork and Food were brother and sister items of cutlery from the old Shangri-La in Grand Forks, North Dakota. When the Shangri-La was tragically shut down due to health problems such as coach roaches, the sibling pair decided to make an escape the last night the restaurant was open. They both did not want to continue their career in the food business, so they set out on their way one night in search of a new adventure. While Spork and Foon were walking on the middle strip of I-29, Foon noticed how light it was out even though it was probably well past midnight. “Stop for a minute,” said Foon to Spork, “let’s lay down on the grass and look up at the sky. Spork, who is always up for whatever Foon wants to do, fell backwards with Foon and started to gaze up at the immense and vast sky above them. Spork suddenly gasped! Right above him was a HUGE wheel of cheese!!! “Foon, can you see that huge wheel of cheese above us?!” Spork cried out. “Well, yeah, but I didn’t know the moon was cheese…” Foon mumble, but Spork was too excited and cut him off, “Could you imagine being the only fork and spoon to be stuck in that?!” Foon pondered this idea for a minute and then replied, “Well, that sounds like more fun then working at the Olive Garden…” Foon contemplated. Spork was already making excited plans, as he started to ramble about needing a rocket and maybe some duct tape. On and on Spork and Foon went making plans on how to make it up to the great ball of cheese in the sky, and while they were doing so they started to walk towards the Wal-Mart Super Center to go steal supplies for their great adventure. Now as you can imagine they were not paying very close attention to the road they were walking on when they were crossing to get to 32nd Ave exit, because right then a huge Cass-Clay semi truck ran both of them over flattening them into thin little strips of sheet metal and ending the two siblings short life of adventure.